The Anatomy of a Crush

This article was written for THE EDGE VOL. 15 ISSUE 1, “Matters of the Heart.”

 Have you ever met someone and instantly thought, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Like no, literally, why are you so obsessed with me? Or have you ever been completely and utterly enamored by someone? Have you felt that all-too-famous spark? Ever wondered why you blush, or want to understand why your heart sometimes feels like it's about to burst? Well, there’s a reason for all that, and it's not just in your head; it’s a full-body biological process. All these sensations are symptoms of falling in love… and falling in lust. These internal side effects are an experience we all have, and it's so much more than just attraction. Let’s go through the cycle of crush connection, understand love resonance and unpack that buzzing sensation you feel in your heart. If you’re wondering why you react the way you do when you see your crush or what a spark really is, we’ve got you covered, love. It’s time to talk about the science of love. “Omg, why am I blushing…” 

LUST, ATTRACTION, ATTACHMENT 

Your cheeks flush, hands get clammy, pupils dilate, heart rate rises — oh no! You might just have a crush. There is a formula for love. Sometimes love can feel completely incomprehensible or totally baffling, but beneath the blush in your cheeks, there is a true series of complex chemical reactions taking place between the brain and the body. 

According to an article from the International Science Council, romantic love is broken down into three categories: lust, attraction and attachment. Each category is identified by a set of hormones released from the brain. The first stage, lust, releases testosterone and estrogen. The second, attraction, is the release of dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine. These three neurotransmitters function similarly to endorphins and make you feel all happy and fuzzy. In the third stage of the cycle, attachment, the brain releases oxytocin and vasopressin. Oxytocin is responsible for the increase in positive feelings, and vasopressin is linked with physical and emotional mobilization. 

The “honeymoon” phase is the initial stage of the attraction cycle and is the time when we feel that obsessive fixation. This is due to an increase in blood flow to the brain’s pleasure center. Sometimes, with fleeting crushes — when this blood flow fades in the second stage of attraction — we no longer feel that spark anymore. However, if this crush is the real deal, the release of vasopressin and oxytocin creates a sense of security that remains in the body through long-lasting relationships. 

*Scientific information is from an article by the International Science Council.*

Elle Woods puts it best: “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't.” 

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Wait, I love you. Why do I love you? Falling in love is a whole chemical affair. It's euphoric. It’s beautiful. Your brain goes totally haywire. According to an article from the Royal Institution, chemistry between a couple happens when you experience large releases of the neurotransmitters oxytocin and dopamine. While dopamine fires up the brain’s reward centers, resulting in that all-too-desirable euphoric state, oxytocin helps you trust someone new in a way you might not normally, facilitating the formation of a deep bond. Additionally, in the first few months of a relationship, the stress hormone — cortisol — floods your body, which is what causes that butterfly sensation and pupil dilation. But really, love at first sight is all in the eyes. The Royal Institution explains it best: “Eye contact is unbelievably important for so many social interactions — people can often have entire conversations through minute facial expressions and intense eye contact.”

“Hold on, why are you staring at me? I feel like you’re staring at me. Oh, what pretty eyes you have.” Prolonged eye contact can cause attraction. According to an article from CooperVision, “Eye contact is a powerful stimulator of affection. A study published in the Journal of Research and Personality in which two opposite sex strangers were asked to gaze into each other’s eyes for two minutes found that this was enough in some cases to produce passionate feelings for each other.” “Let’s just gaze at each other and fall in love, okay?”

*Scientific information is from articles from the Royal Institution and CooperVision.*

IT'S JUST THE PHEROMONES

“OMG, you made me blush. I am so drawn to you.” Maybe… it’s just the pheromones? 

Pheromones, according to Healthline, “are chemical substances that are secreted outside of the body in fluids like urine and sweat. They are basically a hidden form of communication.” So spicy. Our pheromones are unique, like snowflakes no two individuals have the same. “They send signals from one individual to another and this triggers a response in the individual receiving those signals, such as a hormonal change or specific behavior.” Pheromones are used to attract. Can you believe our natural body odor can play a role in how attractive we are to someone? 

Different companies are now producing new pheromone perfumes that are meant to highlight one’s own natural scent and inspire sexual attraction in the people who smell you. One of the most popular pheromone perfumes on the market is from the beauty brand Glossier called Glossier You. Marketed as the ultimate personal fragrance, Glossier’s hot perfume is formulated to be “a personal skin-scent enhancer — primarily made up of base notes to let more of you shine through, meaning it smells a little differently on everyone.” 

INSTANT SOUL RESONANCE 

A moment of fate. Heartstruck connection. Awe. Recognition. Coming home. When you resonate with someone else, it feels like familiarity; it feels understandable to you. Sometimes attraction can be spiritual. Something in you recognizes something in someone else — nostalgia. Resonating is being in agreement with someone. This side of love is best left unexplained. 

Instant soul resonance is the spiritual side of love at first sight. It is when your vibration is meeting someone else’s. According to Spirit Vine, the concept of spiritual vibrations is based on the idea that all matter in the universe is made up of energy that vibrates. We’re all just energy, vibrating at different frequencies. So when you do meet that special someone, pay attention to the physical symptoms but also what your heart is telling you. Sometimes those butterflies are more than just hormones; they are sentimentality and a shared reminiscence. Check in with your heart chakra, our center of love for oneself and others. Meditate. Exercise so those endorphins flow.  Feed your heart by feeding your soul. Let yourself succumb to love — your body is practically doing it for you.